Why Shy Girls Read (And 2 Novels Every Shy Girl Should Read)

Note from Jo: This is a guest post by a Twisted Sleeve reader called Naomi. Enjoy!

From what Jo has told me, a lot of us shy girls share a love of reading. It makes sense. Books allow us to enter into another world, to escape a world that we don’t always feel like we fit into, and to be someone else for a change. We can be that outgoing girl who makes witty remarks in class and who knows how to make the entire lunch table laugh hysterically. The girl for whom confidence is second nature. Whether that girl actually exists or not, I think we all like to believe that she does. I know I do. read more…

DIY Self-Esteem: How To Start Liking Yourself (Edition 2) Is Here!

In July I released the first Twisted Sleeve resource – DIY Self-Esteem: How To Start Liking Yourself. I was pleased with it because it’s basically a huge compilation of everything I’ve done, read, and experienced, to learn to like myself. So many of the questions it contains have led to HUGE realisations for me. They’ve changed the way I see myself, the way I live my life, and my self-esteem. read more…

Interview: Doing Things Because You Want To – with Kate Evans

Every now and then I hear from or about shy and introverted people who have managed to do and achieve a lot despite their shyness. It’s so inspiring to hear how other people have dealt with and overcome shyness, so I recently interviewed Bejaria about how she managed to overcome her quiet girl tendencies to study interpreting and move abroad.

Bejaria’s interview was very popular, so I decided to keep an eye out for some more people to interview. Then I saw an interview with Kate Evans on Uncomfortgasm. I knew I had to ask her to share her tips and experiences with you guys. Luckily, she said yes! Here’s my interview with her. Enjoy! read more…

Birthday Post 2014: Being 25 and Learning To Like Myself

In 2011, I was having a particularly bad year, so on my birthday, to cheer myself up, I decided to make a list of all the things I’d done that year. I was surprised by how much I’d done and I enjoyed looking back over an entire year, so I’ve done the same thing around the time of my birthday ever since.

I’ve published the last three years’ lists as blog posts because I think it’s interesting to show how much can change over the course of a year. Today is my 26th birthday, so today’s post is my look back at being twenty-five. read more…

On Finding Your True Identity And Your People

I’ve always been jealous of people who have found ‘their people’. Of people who know what ‘their thing’ is. You can usually define them using just one of their characteristics or interests because that characteristic is pretty much their entire life.

I’ve gone to events, super excited to meet the people that I was sure were ‘my people’, only to end up feeling alone somehow because everyone else was so much more into it than me. I’ve just never had that ‘I’m home’ feeling. read more…

An Alternative View of Friendship

I get a lot of emails from Twisted Sleeve readers asking me for advice with friendship issues. I’m never quite sure how to respond because, to be honest, friendship really isn’t my forte.

I’ve always seemed to cycle through friendships and annoy the friends who do stick around by never getting in touch or asking if they want to meet up. But because I seem to “do” friendship so differently from a lot of people, I have a few ideas about how friendship works that might help you with your own friendship issues. read more…

An Introduction to Safety Behaviours

You walk into a party and you can’t see anyone you know, so you scurry over to the food table and pretend to really care about whether to have the sausage rolls or the mini pizzas.

Your teacher’s looking for someone to answer her question, so you flick your eyes down and make out like you’re engrossed in your textbook.

You’ve got to make an appointment to get your hair cut, so you rehearse asking for ‘a wet cut and blow dry, please’ so many times that the words stop making any sense to you. read more…

Why Are You Reading This?

Why are you here, on Twisted Sleeve?

I know you’re shy but why are you here, really?

Is it to feel a little more normal, by showing yourself that you’re not the only one who finds everyday situations difficult? read more…

Interview: How To Do Big Scary Things as A Shy Girl – with Bejaria

One of the things that I find most interesting about running Twisted Sleeve is getting to know you guys. Whenever one of you introduces yourself, I’m amazed at how similar our problems are and yet how amazingly unique we are.

Over the past few months I’ve been talking to a really inspiring Twisted Sleeve reader from Denmark. Bejaria and I have a lot of things in common, since we both studied languages, we’ve both lived abroad, and we’ve both considered careers in interpreting.

But when Bejaria first emailed me, I was most excited about getting to know her because she’s another shy girl who has done big things despite her shyness. The stories she told me about her life confirmed to me that shy girls CAN do big, scary, impressive things, and that a side effect of doing these things is increased confidence.

I was so inspired by her that I asked her if I could interview her, so that she could inspire you to 1) go after your own dreams and 2) to realize that your shyness doesn’t have to stop you from doing anything. She said yes! So, be inspired! read more…

What If All You Have To Do Is Feel OK?

In May I was at a conference called Alive in Berlin. After my experiences of being on edge at previous conferences and parties, I desperately wanted to prove to myself that my confidence had improved and that I was capable of talking to strangers at a conference.

But I had a safety blanket. My friend’s friend, Cath Elms, was also at the conference. She’s also quite shy, so the two of us stuck together. I found that I was fine talking to people when they approached us but by the second day I still hadn’t actually approached anyone myself. read more…

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